Friday, January 18, 2013

Breathe In, Breathe Out, Blink Real Slow

I have a seven year old girl and a two year old boy and while the boy is CURRENTLY pretty simple (hand him a Matchbox car or a very expensive electronic tablet and he's happy) the girl is becoming more challenging with each day.  Challenging because she has an insatiable need to know things.

Things ranging from where milk comes from exactly to how and who decided to name cars "cars".

Don't get me wrong, I love that she is on a constant quest for knowledge, always has been.  We knew she was a smart girl from the get!  However, the questions she's coming up with are becoming a little more intense, for me, which you may recall from THIS POST about nipples.

THAT conversation should have been my first clue, but I am not Sherlock and this IS my first rodeo. My guess is my son will be a little easier since I will be SOME WHAT prepared. Or maybe not (shoot me now).

The most recent conversation with my daughter had to do with my brother-in-law and why he felt it was acceptable to say the "S" word.  I guess at sometime during the 49'ers and Packers game the "S" word slipped out of his mouth. I didn't catch it, but she did. And she was promptly before me demanding to know how it was ok for him to say the word, but not her.

I panicked.  But didn't let her KNOW I was panicking.  Instead I simply said, "I am sorry, babe, but sometimes adults say things that they shouldn't."  Funny enough, she took that answer calmly and wondered off to get some more M&M's from the candy bowl.  I wiped the figurative beads of sweat off my forehead.

In less than 10 minutes she was back in front of me with a more serious scowl on her face, wrinkled nose, and all.

"MOM!" through gritted teeth, "he said it AGAIN!"

I sighed.  FOR THE MOST PART we have kept Sarah pretty far from any of the "bad" words and now my BROTHER IN LAW was making them a big deal. GREAT! I am not ready for this! She's seven and I would rather talk about rainbows and unicorns.

I took yet another sigh. Slow blink of the eyes. Big breath. All of it was stalling on my part as I thought how I might handle this direct conversation about cussing.

"MOM!!!!  HE SHOULD NOT BE CALLING ANYONE STUPID!!!"  Stupid.  The S word was STUPID! Bwhahahaha! 

(interruption for a public service announcement: the words stupid is not funny in any way, shape, or form, I apologize for laughing.)

What a relief!  "I know babe, he shouldn't, let's softly remind him that the Mompean's don't call names and use the S word."

Done. Chuckle Chuckle.

And I smiled. How fun it is that the "S" word is still standing for stupid!

And then it hit me, this same tactic might work for future questions that scare me. Simply take a moment, breathe in, breathe out, blink real slow.. maybe the questions won't be as bad as they first seem.

I was tested on my theory just two days later when the conversation of kissing came up.

"Mom, you realize that there are all kinds of different kisses. Some kisses you can do with some people and some you can't, and some are not good to do with family members."

Breathe in. Breathe out. Blink REAAAAAAL slow.

"What do you mean, Sarah?" as I reel thinking about how I explain why some people linger, suckface, etc. 

"Well, there are kisses that I can give my sissy on the mouth, and other kisses where you only kiss on the cheek and then there are those other kinds of kisses." BRACING MYSELF FOR WHAT'S NEXT.


"Yea, you know, like Eskimo kisses and butterfly kisses."

And I smiled.  How fun it is that the kisses she refers to are still the innocent, fun, eyelash kisses I have been giving to her since she was a baby!

So today's lesson for me.. sometimes it isn't as bad as it seems. Sometimes we moms are looking too far down the future path when we can really just breathe, blink and relax.

Sure, those questions will get tougher, but as she grows up and asks about the harder facts of life, I will hopefully have grown up some and be ready to answer them. Bwhahahaha!

Until then, there's always the tactic of: BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT, BLINK REAL SLOW. Buy yourself some time to remember seven isn't 14, and when 14 is 21.. well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Community Tie In:
Remember there is no shame in heading on over to the parenting section of the local Public Library or Barnes and Noble to peruse the many books they have on pretty much every age and stage of raising kiddos.  We are Super Women Warriors because we are smart enough to know when to ask for help!  


1 comment:

asbackus said...

I truly believe there are no bad words, just really bad intentions. Kids are going to ask questions and we have to answer them. It's ok to say that's a good question, let me think about that and get back to you. And do it! Kids need to know they can ask/tell anything to us. Because if not us, then who??