Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Lyndsay + Zumba = Real + Funny


A friend of mine, also the owner and extraordinarily amazing cake decorator of Queen of Hearts Cakes, recently attempted ZUMBA, something I have yet to do.

EVERYTHING she describes is EXACTLY what I imagine my first time ZUMBA-ing would be like, except a ka-trillion times worse. Her writing had me laughing uncontrollably on a day I needed it most. My thought with sharing here is that maybe, just maybe someone else could use a laugh today -- and this might make it happen for them.  Enjoy!

A Tale of a First Zumba Class: Skinny Doesn't Mean in Shape
By Lyndsay Scott

My friend Lori Jones not only is the best hairdresser in the whole Valley, but she is a Zumba instructor too! She told me she was teaching at my gym this Saturday (today) and asked me to go. Because I hold her near and dear to my heart, I decided to go.

I arrived 10 minutes late (kids!!! ugh!!) and sneaked in. She immediately saw me mid-routine and gave a big "yay glad you came!" smile. I was ready to go.

I joined in mid-routine and noticed that there were a ton of ladies there. Cool! I didn't have to worry too much about sticking out terribly. I joined in mid-routine and immediately noticed the amount of booty shaking. I chuckled it off and tried to keep up.

Second song in I was really starting to feel it. Phew! I also was truly thanking Jesus for my natural rhythm--rhythm is a huge added bonus to this class. At this point I realized that if you don't go FULL OUT with the moves, you look pretty dumb, so I decided to act like I was in a J-Lo music video.

By the fourth song I was questioning whether Lori would still be my friend if I ended up barfing all over the floor. Holy crap...like this is some serious cardio. I'm usually in the free weights lifting, and this is really not comparable at all. I also noticed that the little old lady in the back of the room was kicking my @$$. She was shaking it like it was nobody's business. Just don't barf became the goal. I looked at the clock...it had only been 12 minutes...

By the sixth song I was flabbergasted that she was not only up there teaching, but she was SINGING along with the music. Are you F$#&ING kidding me?! I can barely breathe and she's freaking white-Shakira and singing. I was judging myself, and jealousy was palpable. And damn that granny in the back. I checked the clock; it had only been 8 more minutes.

By the tenth song I was questioning whether or not the Oakdale PD would charge Lori with involuntary manslaughter if I ended up dying right there in class. She is a new mom with a 7 month old and I didn't really want that, plus her mom is my BFF. That would be so terrible. At this point I was okay with barfing as long as I didn't die. I looked at the clock and realized that the class wasn't actually 45 minutes--as I had originally thought--but it was probably an hour. I almost cried.

By the twelfth song I was loving the booty shaking--shaking the booty was usually in a standing, not moving or hopping position, so I prayed for more booty shaking. I promised myself that I would shake it like Lori The White Shakira as long as there was more stationary shaking.

Routines started to go into the cool-down phase, and I was so grateful. I also realized:
1) if I had been running or cycling I would have given up long ago, and
2) I actually had a TON of fun, which is why I kept at it, J-Lo backup dancer the whole time, and
3) Lori was a great teacher! She made sure to really lead the class even on the more complicated moves--all non-verbally--and did a great job at it.

Class ended and I went up to tell Lori that I was really glad that I came, it was fun, and I was really glad i didn't barf--she was so sweet and said she would have still been my friend.
So that being said, I will be attending Zumba every 4th Saturday when Lori teaches. What a fun, crazy, exhausting workout that was quite liberating for us ladies!

** Thank you, Lyndsay, cake baker extraordinaire, for the fun read on what it's REALLY LIKE to attend a ZUMBA class.

For the record, I do not have even the slightest bit of rhythm, I am not a Shakira in any way, shape or form, and I couldn't back-up J-Lo's great grandmother's backup -- but despite all that, something about Lyndsay's tenacity and willingness to get out there and give it her all (and she probably looked fabulous doing it!) makes me want to get out there and try, too.

I just learned today that WESTON RANCH BRANCH LIBRARY (1453 W. French Camp Road in French Camp) will be having FREE ZUMBA CLASSES every Friday from April through May from 4-5pm. Maybe I can give it a shot.  Something tells me I am not yet ready for that slammin' Oakdale gig Lyndsay attends :) But if you want to join Lyndsay and her amazing Zumba instructor, Lori, check out Oakdale Fitness Evolution.

Any other Zumba ladies (or men) have a Zumba experience you want to share?

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